Pen In Motion….

My first year at Oral Roberts University has finally come to a close. This is probably the most frustrating year I have had since I returned to school in 2008, and I wish I were just talking about the classes themselves.

I was certainly frustrated by all the little things that continued falling onto my path until I chose to see them in a better light – confirmation that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. So much has changed – I am now taking online classes and my major has changed from Writing to Leadership Studies. I went from a gal with a plan to not quite knowing what will happen after my final 3 semesters are done.

Believe me, for an oft-confessed control freak, I am very much out of my comfort zone in having everything planned and mapped and nailed down. The only thing I know right now is that I am in training. I do not need to know the whole plan yet because I am not ready to do anything about it. So I learn, and learn, and learn some more.

At 11:55pm on May 5th I realized that I am not a writer who enjoys poetry, but rather a poet who likes to also write fiction.Why is this an epiphany? I have often described the poetry I write as a creative outlet, but a hobby than anything else. But as I sat at my desk a few minutes ago writing another poem that was inspired by a photographic I happened across, I confronted the realization with pleasure. I am a poet.

But still, why does it matter? It is another piece of my calling and anointing – another glimpse of who I am created to be. Part of my destiny in God is to write poetry, and I shall revel in that  measure of myself.

This was a Discussion post I did for one of my classes – the topic was about finding logical statements in the Bible…

As I was thinking about this assignment, the Lord led me to read through Romans 8. What I found was a surprising number of logical statements in regard to our place in the family of God. Paul was showing us proof of who we are in Christ.

He begins the chapter saying “there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ,” which is his statement. His explanation to back up his reasoning is in the next verse: “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set us free from the of sin and death (Rom 8:2).”

Why are we free of condemnation? Because Jesus set us free. A new law was set in motion by Jesus’ actions on the cross (the law of the Spirit of life) that cancels out the old law we were lving under, which is the law of sin and death. Yes, Paul was speaking in spiritual terms on spiritual matters, but he was doing so in an intellectual fashion. Paul was naturally a highly educated man, and he used his natural thinking and reasoning skills to convey Godly truths.

Romans 8:16 is another example of Paul using reason and logic to explain something:”The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Paul is plainly telling believers how they fit into the kingdom and family lineage of God. Like a lawyer detailing our connection to a large inheritance – before we can take what we are owed, we have to prove that it is rightfully ours.

In the next verse (Rom 8:17), Paul tells Christians why it is important to know their place as children of God: “Now if we are children (of God), then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”Paul offers sound reason for why we need to know that we are children of God – because that makes us heirs to an inheritance beyond what we could possibly imagine.

Pennies…probably not your most coveted coin as an adult. When we were children, we loved finding pennies. Pennies went into fountains for wishes, and sometimes bought us a piece of candy or two. But now, they are not so big of a deal. I am not a fan of pennies – they seem to “get in the way” of the more important coin change and had almost become a nuissance for me.

But then I had an eye-opening conversation with my husband. I was separating change before we left on a trip because I knew we would need the quarters for toll fees. As I was doing this, I mentioned my disdane for pennies and even wondered aloud why they were still around (in existence). I then joked that I would stop to pick up a quarter, dime, and even a nickel – but I would not stoop to pick up a penny.

My husband replied by chastizing my attitude towards pennies and said that even they are seeds from God. That one penny could have been sent by God as a means of provision and I just passed it by. And then the Lord began reminding me of instances in the Bible where the smallest amount of anything made the biggest difference – the widow who gave two mites (which probably amounted to less than a penny), the boy who gave his lunch to feed thousands, the widow with only a handful of meal for Elijah. And of course, the faith it takes to move moutains is the size of a mustard seed – smaller than the size of a penny.

Size is not important in the Kingdom of God; in fact, God seems to enjoy using the small to conquer or confound the big. Luke 16:10 says that whoever can be trusted with a little can be trusted with a lot. If we are faithful with the little things that God gives us, then He can trust us to be faithful with the bigger things. I remember a prayer that was said before taking up the offering in the church I grew up in – “…every penny represents a soul for the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Pennies are important, regardless of how little they are. My husband and I now have a new type of coin bank – one for the all our pennies (and other change) that we can sow into the Kingdom of God somewhere. And we believe that every penny we collect and give represents a soul saved out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of light.

I recently saw a comedy entitled “You Again,” and starring an impressive cast of female actresses – Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver, Kristen Bell, & Betty White. The movie is about a beautiful, successful young woman (Bell) having to confront her miserable high school memories when the girl who tormented her is set to marry her older brother.

Most of the antics in the movie were funny, but also painful to watch. I kept thinking about my own teenage experiences and the pain that haunted me for years after. I had to wonder, during the movie, what it would be like to finally confront the person who hurt me so badly back then and tell her just how I really feel. Would I feel vindicated somehow? Would a face-to-face really change anything?

The problem that Bell’s character has – the root problem- is that she still sees herself in the same malnourished light as she did in high school. Regardless of the beautiful person she had become, she refused to let go of the past. This is the same reason why I (and I suspect many others) can also relate to that character – we have bound ourselves to our past, and refuse to move beyond whatever painful period we are clinging to.

For Bell, those years in high school were what actually defined her, and not anything she had accomplished beyond that point. And when she finally exacted her revenge, the aftertaste was not as sweet as she thought it would be. Vengeance in the hands of humans never plays out the way we want it to because it is in the wrong hands to begin with.

Long after the credits finished rolling and I turned off my TV, the movie stayed with me. I rooted for the nemesis to get her comeuppance, as though I was also getting something out of it.  I realized that I was still seeking my own vengeance for the past, still bound to something that happened to me so many years ago. But  God is not going to avenge the past for me, and anything I do will only end up causing more pain.

Unlike the characters in the movie, Christians know that the way to move past the hurt is to love. I Corinthians 13 is well-known as the “love chapter,” and is really one of the most powerful sections of the Bible. To walk in God’s love is to be free of all hurts and wrongs, to look at any person and see the best, and to be the light in the world that repels the darkness. Love is seeing the world and oneself from God’s perspective.

So I love the girl who ruined my teenage life… I forgive her, and I hope that she has a good life. I can only go so far into the future with the past bound to my life, so I have to choose one or the other. Letting go of the past may not be easy, but I can do it because I have love and love never fails. It is not a petty sentiment on a greeting card, but a battle cry to the foe that is my past – LOVE NEVER FAILS.

I had been working on a freelance assignment for well over week that was taking up all of my time. It was a bigger assignment than one I had done before, and I was a bit rusty from not having done this kind of work in a while. So that was a stressful week for me, between helping my husband in his store and writing sixty articles. And I was in a hotel room all week while my husband filled in as manager for a store in OKC, waiting until we could go back home for a few days before having to come back. As usual, we had to check out of the hotel hours before heading back home (hub is at work all day).

With so much work to do, I headed to Panera Bread to camp out in a corner and use their free wi-fi while I churned out my articles. It was a long day, and after five hours, it is finally time to pick up my husband. I packed up my stuff and made a quick visit to the restroom before leaving. I was glancing around the dining area as I was exiting the restroom and not really paying attention to where I was going. I saw the glass door out of the corner of my eye and quickly turned left, expecting to push the door open and leave. But alas, the “door” was actually a big glass window next to the door – I smacked right into that window. I quickly recovered, found the door handle,  and hurried outside to my truck.

I slid behind the wheel of my truck, full of embarrassment for what had just happened. How could I do something so silly? And then I heard inside, Because you were not paying attention. Of course, that was the obvious reason. But I also know that voice, and that statement had more meaning that just to do with my window crash. I have been so caught up with all the hub-bub of my life that I had stopped paying attention to my Shepherd. The result was me stressed and frenzied. I will be the first to admit that I do not always handle stress very well. But then again, I was not created to handle stress…none of us were. We were created to live in the garden, be covered in glory, and walk with God in the cool of the day.

After thousands of years, our bodies still have not adapted to living under stress. That is why living in faith is so important. Psalms 91 begins with “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide in the shadow of His wings.” That means you are safe and secure from any bombardments that may try to come. David also tells us what life can be like when you serve God in Psalms 23: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures…He restores my soul. I do not believe David was saying what he wished his life could be like…I think he was describing exactly how God had kept him through all the years. Was David’s life perfect? By no means. Did he ever have trials? More than you can imagine. But David always depended on God, and found his rest in God.

Jesus said that we would have trials and tribulations (John 16:33), but He also said to be of good cheer. Because we would have to go through problems? Nope. Jesus said to relax because He had overcome the world. And if Christ is in us, then we have also. The word cheer means “to be of good cheer, and of good courage.” It also means “to compel” – sometimes you will have to make yourself be of good cheer. Sometimes you have to make yourself choose to not be stressed. It is actually easier to be stressed and worried than it is to be at peace. Psalms 37:23 says that the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. If you live by faith and allow the Lord to lay your path, you can be sure that He will not lead you into a giant glass window.